I mentioned I started a garden on the balcony.It’s been coming along nicely, but this is how it started. I had to move the cucumbers at Peach’s urging as she insisted they weren’t getting enough sunlight. (OK, so she was probably right. This is probably the only time I will admit I wasn’t right, enjoy it.) There have been quite a few strawberries already and we are awaiting the ripening of three beefsteak tomatoes. Since I took this photo, we’ve also added some pretty solar lights in the cucumber pot.

This is all part of my wicked plan to be more self sufficient, spend less, waste less. Also part of the plan is the retractable clothesline I will be installing in the next couple of days across the balcony. I’ve also decided to learn to sew. I used to think my knitting was an expensive hobby but as I hurry onward to the completion of my first sweater (it is a sack, but it is a pretty colored sack made with love) I’ve begun to realize that while the materials certainly cost more than something we could have bought at Old Navy, it will probably last much longer. This realization has driven me to decide to learn to sew as well. Plus size clothing is ridiculously overpriced and cheaply made as it is, and don’t even get me started on how hard it is to find something cute and flattering as well.

You will see. This is a good idea.

Still, I felt like I should give the game a chance; at least then I had some leverage to complain about it. Review below will be major spoiler-free but there might be some vague spoilerage.

Characters

Admittedly, the characters are not particularly complex and at times they almost seem to become lost in the larger events of the plot, similar to Chrono Trigger, but they always seem to dig themselves out again before you stop caring. All the same, their personalities are different enough from the usual archetypes of Square-Enix games to be a refreshing departure while still being familiar.

One thing that really stood out to me were the character’s interactions with each other. Unlike some previous games, each character has a personal and unique relationship with each party member, not just the main character. I found this helped a lot in making me connect with them.

The female characters in particular appealed to me, something that that is very rare for me. Usually I can’t stand female characters because I find them to be very flat and, unfortunately, a lot of the time they only ever seem to be there as a catalyst or an object of desire, never as a character of equal importance. I really felt like they were a good step in the direction of strong characters that just happen to be female, rather than just strong female characters. On that note, I was also pleased to see the male characters showing a depth of emotion and sensitivity I’m not used to seeing in popular media. Oh, did I mention there are also lesbians? Because there totally were and they were by far the cutest couple ever.

Gameplay

For all the noise that was made about the linear-ness of the game, I found it to be a really positive aspect. I like to play RPGs for story and I am also an anal retentive completionist so having a plot that runs very clearly from point A to point B is a good thing for me. Two things I cannot stand are not knowing where I should be going or missing bonuses along the way. Overall I found that the plot flowed smoothly and the linear-ness made the game feel like an interactive movie, something else I personally liked.

The battle system plays like a hybrid of previous Final Fantasy games, but seems to have most in common with X-2 and XII. For me it was a great balance between the two, and it was fun to have a class system similar to the dress spheres. The level-up system, called the Crystarium, is more or less an updated and much more linear sphere grid from X.

Final Thoughts

Overall, I thought the story was quite strong and the characters very likable. The music was also a highlight. Frankly, I’m sick of Nobuo Uematsu. Don’t get me wrong, I went to the Distant Worlds concert and sobbed all the way through Aerith’s Theme, but, really, the guy can only make so many arrangements of the same 6 pieces before it gets old and the fact that he has been so adamant about using synthesized instruments rather than recordings has not helped. Honestly, the only thing I can complain about are the noises Vanille makes in battle. Seriously, does she need a date with Rosie Palms or what?

*That’s really all I feel comfortable saying about Sazh. I’m Caucasian and therefore don’t really feel like I have much right to talk about whether or not this character is negatively stereotyped. For the record, I liked him a lot, but that was just my opinion.

On Saturday, my landlady gave us a notice to vacate the suite in the next 2 months. We have lived here for over 3 years and in that time the rent has only been late once (because I had to take time off from work to go and be with my dad while he was dying) and we have only ever had one complaint from them. So why are we being asked to leave? The landlady wants to take back the suite so she can move her 18-year-old son into the basement …

I’ll be honest, I’ve never felt completely welcome here. The landlady, her family and even the neighbours have always treated us strangely. Sometimes I’ve tried to convince myself that maybe it was us, something we said, something we did … but I never come up with anything substantial. We’ve been nothing but friendly; coffee and other gifts during the holidays with non-denominational cards, greetings when we bump into them, never complaining about all the noise they’ve made at inappropriate hours (or even when their teenager and his friends would shout and holler at us through the vents), never asking for maintenance on the suite unless it was absolutely necessary. My dad insisted that they liked us, but I think he just always liked to think that everyone likes everyone. It was one of the most irritating things about him.

But I’m not posting to talk about him.

I’m posting to talk about how frustrating it is when people’s small acts of selfishness screw over nice people. This honestly could not have come at a worse time.

Peach is just graduating and we won’t know if she’s been accepted into the optional 3rd year of her program until just before the required move, and we won’t know if she’s got a job until a couple months after. As for me? I’m unemployed and totally unaware of what my credit rating is like. Ugh.

Pray for me.

Still, when I saw him yesterday, I just hurried past. I was thankful he didn’t seem to notice me.

I have an intense fear of being forgotten, which might seem strange given my behavior. But, see, I won’t know if I’ve been forgotten if I don’t say anything.

Maybe even worse than being forgotten, I also worry about making people feel uncomfortable or awkward. This always seems to happen when I run into old acquaintances who, most of the time, pretend they don’t see me unless I shout and wave my arms about like a crazy person. I don’t know what it is about me, but I seem to make people nervous without even trying. I want desperately to speak with these friends again, but I can’t bear the intense anxiety my mere presence seems to provoke.

Old friends can’t even seem to stand me on the Internet to the point that I’ve stopped trying to reach out to them when I stumble across their facebook pages because they never write back. I just stare longingly at my friends’ profile images for a moment, trying to suss out if that is their baby on their lap or not but I don’t dare write to them.

Their uneasiness would make me feel even worse than my ignorance.

I’ve been keeping myself busy between job applications (seriously, Vancouver/Canada, WTF? I’ve never had so much trouble getting work!) by lifting weights at home, studying Japanese and watching movies.

No.

I have not seen Avatar.

Do not talk to me about it.

Ever.

Maybe I’m just a Ridley Scott fangirl or maybe I just don’t get enough of the right sort of violence in my media … but I’m actually looking forward to Robin Hood.

But you know what would be even better? A Northlanders movie by this team. If you don’t know what Northlanders is, get the fuck off my blog and don’t come back until you do.

A woman said to me yesterday as I set down her coffee: “I used to be 300 lbs. It wasn’t me. It was someone else.”

Totally unprovoked.